Bluestone: The outtakes

ANYONE who knows us, or has read this blog, will know that rarely does a day go by without some sort of mishap … and Bluestone was no exception.

From my previous blog posts, you’d assume we had an idyllic family holiday with smiles all round … and I could just let you think that, but where’s the fun in that?! So here’s what happened behind the perfect family photos…

Smiley family, complete with snotty baby
Smiley family, complete with snotty baby

First up, packing. As usual I left it until the last minute and ended up throwing practically everything we own into various bags. Stew ran his first half marathon the day before we went, so most of the day was spent standing in the rain watching him (I drove to the half way point and then the finish line … ok, so I kind of didn’t quite get there, and watched the last bit through a hedge, but that’s a different story), trying to warm up after and then food shopping for goodies to take with us.

In the evening Stew had some friends round for a takeaway, and it would have been rude not to join them, so I ended up packing at about 9pm, creeping in and out of Santi’s room to not wake him while I grabbed things from his wardrobe.

Stew wasn’t coming to Bluestone until the Wednesday as he was in work, so his sister Kelly came for the first couple of days to keep us company. I’d arranged for her to pick us up at 10am so I could finish getting my things ready and we could leave at Santi’s nap time. But as I’m sure you know, the best made plans go to waste, and after picking up a last minute night shift, Kelly didn’t turn up until gone noon. As Santi didn’t quite understand the urgency of the situation, he insisted on me walking him around the house while I tried to make sure we didn’t forget anything. I was grabbing shampoo and shower gel as we stomped past the bathroom to play with the gym ball in the back bedroom, and attempting to get a suitcase out of the airing cupboard (not the most sensible place to keep it) while he climbed up my legs like a little monkey.

I had everything lined up in the passage ready to go by the time Kelly arrived … two holdalls, a suitcase, three carrier bags of food, the buggy and car seat. Kelly has a Citroen C1 with a boot that doesn’t open. Slight problem. We rammed everything into the car, wedged Santi in the middle and we were finally off at last!

The rest of the day and following morning went without disaster … and then Stew turned up! He’d got a half day, so joined us for the afternoon and evening, which was lovely. Parking in the main car park, he didn’t follow my strict text instructions to come to the Activity Centre (right next to the car park) and instead walked miles the wrong way to find the lodge. When we got there to meet him, he greeted us with the news that the car had a warning notice that we weren’t supposed to leave it in the resort … oops! Looks like I missed that point!

Apparently the car wasn't allowed to be here.
Apparently the car wasn’t allowed to be here.

We had some dinner and went for a walk to find the Blue Lagoon. By the time we got there, Santi had fallen asleep in the buggy so Stew stayed with him while me and Kelly went upstairs to have a look over the pool. Pretty safe to leave a 32-year-old unsupervised for five minutes, yes? Not when it’s Stew!

By the time we got back downstairs, he was looking pretty sheepish next to a pick and mix vending machine. When I asked what he’d been up to, he replied “I fancied some sweets”, just as a member of staff came to break the machine open.

Stew had paid the £2 for a bag of sweets, but the coin got jammed so the dope shoved a 10p in to try and free it … clogging up the whole machine! He walked away hanging his head in shame to the taunting soundtrack of “I want candy”. Let that be a lesson to us all.

The next day, me and Santi had a few hours on our own between Kelly leaving and Stew finishing work, so we headed to the Activity Centre for a play. After exhausting the soft play room, I thought we’d have a look around the main play area before calling it a day. That’s when I spotted the massive twirly slide that would become my nemesis.

Why, oh why did I think that slide would be a good idea?!
Why, oh why did I think that slide would be a good idea?!

Santi loves slides, but the baby and toddler park didn’t meet his need for speed. The twirly tube slide looked perfect. The only problem was that you had to get through an obstacle course style climbing frame to get to it. I could do it, I thought over-confidently, popping Santi onto the first level before climbing the rope ladder to join him.

By the time we were half way to the top I was exhausted – and facing a vertical climb. I had to lift Santi up onto a series of platforms, haul myself up and shuffle us both across the mesh. It didn’t take long before I realised wearing oh-so-fashionable pop socks was not a good idea as my feet slipped through the gaps.

Anyway, we made it to the top and saw the entrance to the slide … the black hole of doom. It would be impossible to go back the way we’d come, so there was only one way down. I sat Santi on my lap and we slid into the pitch black tunnel.

Oh. My. God.

We were flying down so fast I started to panic. At the first bend I thought I was going to lose Santi, so clung onto him with one arm while flailing the other – and both legs – out to try and slow us down (those damn popsocks only served to make us go faster). It was terrifying! By the time we got to the bottom I was shaking and had grazes from my jumper’s elbow patches (yes, I know, elbow patches, but they’re cool ones, honestly). And what did Santi do? Clapped his hands for more of course. The little thrill seeker had no chance of a repeat performance.

And our darling little boy himself got in on the disaster action by having a meltdown of epic proportions at entirely the wrong time. We’d been asked by the Bluestone marketing team to take part in their #motheringmarch promotion – all they needed was a nice smiley family photo to put online. You can imagine what was going through the marketing lady’s mind when she turned up to our lodge and found Santi half-dressed and screaming like a banshee as Stew wrestled him into a pair of trousers. Picture perfect family we are not.

Luckily he calmed down once his jumper was on, and we even managed to get a nice photo in the end…

Would you guess we'd just been through meltdown central?
Would you guess we’d just been through meltdown central?

So there you have it, the real stories behind our family holiday … it wasn’t perfect, but it was good enough for us!

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20 thoughts on “Bluestone: The outtakes

  1. Perfection is boring! You always need a funny story to tell people; and those are the ones that elicit fond memories and giggles when we’re old and grey!
    Thanks for linking up with the #WeekendBlogHop!

  2. Katy (What Katy Said) says:

    I absolutely adore that you have done this version of your holiday!!!!! Sounds like a fun time despite the mishaps! xx #pocolo

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