AS much as I realised that life would be different with a baby, it wasn’t until recently that I understood just how different it is – on occasions it’s downright absurd.
I wasn’t going to be one of those mothers ruled by their baby, of course not. They’re small, you’re big. They’re the child, you’re the parent and therefore in charge.
Wrong. Oh, so wrong.
Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a seemingly impossible situation with a stubborn baby. Mealtimes are a particular challenge. You’ve lovingly prepared your Annabel Karmel puree and have a month’s worth stashed in the freezer – bonus mummy points right there.
Then disaster strikes. Baby refuses to eat your healthy, organic, fruity concoction. What on earth do you do now? Never fear…
Step one: Move the highchair to a more interesting location – preferably within sight of CBeebies. Success? Boom, you win! Still won’t open their mouth? Try scouring the kitchen for a more interesting container for the puree to perk up their interest – in our case, a plastic shot glass did the trick.
Moving on to supper.
Your evening regime is going well, and you’re confident of fitting in at least one episode of Orange is the New Black before bed. Then, during porridge, someone decides the spoon is their property and refuses to give it up.
No problem, I hear you say – get another spoon (oh, so clever). But wait, that spoon also belongs to baby, and at the rate they’re feeding themselves, Piper and the gang will have broken out of prison. There’s no prising open the vice-like grip, and using three spoons for one meal just seems ridiculous.
And that’s how you end up finger feeding your one-year-old porridge. The weaning books don’t teach that little trick, do they?
Other tips for failing at mealtimes include letting them cling onto a balloon during breakfast, splash their hand in a glass of water at dinner and chasing them with mouthful sized chunks of food to pop into their mouth while they run wild at teatime.
Oh, and if all else fails, don’t forget the old trick of letting them feed themselves (I find a cocktail stirrer works fine)…
Just remember, if you’re baby led weaning, never, ever use a bib. That would be too clever.
If you enjoyed this, check out the Rubbish Mother’s Guide to Sensory Play