The rubbish mother’s guide to weaning

AS much as I realised that life would be different with a baby, it wasn’t until recently that I understood just how different it is – on occasions it’s downright absurd.

I wasn’t going to be one of those mothers ruled by their baby, of course not. They’re small, you’re big. They’re the child, you’re the parent and therefore in charge.

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself in a seemingly impossible situation with a stubborn baby. Mealtimes are a particular challenge. You’ve lovingly prepared your Annabel Karmel puree and have a month’s worth stashed in the freezer – bonus mummy points right there.

Then disaster strikes. Baby refuses to eat your healthy, organic, fruity concoction. What on earth do you do now? Never fear…

Step one: Move the highchair to a more interesting location – preferably within sight of CBeebies. Success? Boom, you win! Still won’t open their mouth? Try scouring the kitchen for a more interesting container for the puree to perk up their interest – in our case, a plastic shot glass did the trick.

Liquid lunch, anyone?
Moving on to supper.

Your evening regime is going well, and you’re confident of fitting in at least one episode of Orange is the New Black before bed. Then, during porridge, someone decides the spoon is their property and refuses to give it up.

No problem, I hear you say – get another spoon (oh, so clever). But wait, that spoon also belongs to baby, and at the rate they’re feeding themselves, Piper and the gang will have broken out of prison. There’s no prising open the vice-like grip, and using three spoons for one meal just seems ridiculous.

And that’s how you end up finger feeding your one-year-old porridge. The weaning books don’t teach that little trick, do they?

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Blurry baby, with obligatory evening mess in the background…
Other tips for failing at mealtimes include letting them cling onto a balloon during breakfast, splash their hand in a glass of water at dinner and chasing them with mouthful sized chunks of food to pop into their mouth while they run wild at teatime.

Oh, and if all else fails, don’t forget the old trick of letting them feed themselves (I find a cocktail stirrer works fine)…

Well, I suppose it does look like a spoon
Just remember, if you’re baby led weaning, never, ever use a bib. That would be too clever.

Oh, how we love the mess

If you enjoyed this, check out the Rubbish Mother’s Guide to Sensory Play

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22 thoughts on “The rubbish mother’s guide to weaning

  1. foxxie52 says:

    Oh, it’s YOU. LOL. I was reading this and I enjoyed it and I thought “that was nearly as good as that awesome post about sensory play that I read”. Then I got to the end and thought “oh. That’s why.” Brilliant. Loving your blog. Looking forward to your new look too. X

  2. haha this really made me laugh! I’m only on Day 4 of weaning and already realising it’s not as easy and lovely as the books make out! Cheese and lentil wedges?! Pah – I’ll be lucky if he sucks a carrot batton …. x

    • Haha! Nobody needs a bib…
      I would have liked to have tried BLW but with Santi’s reflux we tried to speed it up a bit to get him into more solids than milk. It made a huge difference, but then we had to introduce finger foods at a later date.

  3. Awesome tips, I particularly like the shot glass tip. Interesting location is cool idea too! our little one just won’t sit in the high chair so we regularly chase her round the rooms, waving a spoon, splashing all furniture. it’s a blimmin disaster zone!

  4. Ickle Pickle says:

    Haha! Great post! I had to run through the whole cast of Chuggington, Peppa Pig, with each spoon being a character. We still do Thomas and Paw Patrol now lol! Kaz x

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