For someone usually fairly organised, I seem to get caught out quite a lot when it comes to having things prepared for Santi.
Going back to this time last year, there was a mad 9pm dash to Tesco, followed by an attempt to sew a blue rabbit tail to a white onesie for an Easter party. Then there was the oh-so-scary Batman costume for Halloween because I didn’t realise what the date was and panicked in the morning before nursery. And finally, the worst of the worst, sending Santi in dressed as the boy in the striped pyjamas on World Book Day (I know, it was completely inappropriate, but I was determined he should be an actual book character and not someone from a film).
Just to continue the terrible parenting, I found out last night (at around 9pm again) that Santi needed an Easter bonnet for nursery today. Excellent. Far too tired to head to the shop after a mammoth Ikea session, I pretended I hadn’t seen the message and carried on eating my cheese and crackers. Queue a massive panic this morning over breakfast and a speedy crafting session far from Blue Peter standards. Despite the short notice and complete lack of forward planning, we did actually manage to get Santi to nursery by 10am complete with ridiculous hat.
So, for anyone else in a bit of a pickle, here’s my rubbish mother’s guide to making an Easter bonnet (in under 30 minutes)…
- As suggested, give yourself as little time as possible. Do not plan ahead, and under no circumstances enter the world of Pinterest Easter bonnets. The more time you have, the more elaborate you will try to be and the more stressed you will end up. 30 minutes should suffice for a bit of cutting and sticking.
- Raid every cupboard and drawer in the house that might contain card, shiny paper, googly eyes … anything goes because, let’s face it, it’s unlikely you’re going to find a stash of fluffy rabbits and chicks this late in the day.
- Find a hat. This is fairly crucial, otherwise you’re going to have to stick bits and pieces directly to your child’s head (not recommended). Without the hat you might as well call it a day and admit at the nursery door that you’re just a bit rubbish. For bonus points, make sure the hat has been stuffed down the side of the bed and is a bit flat on one side.
- Get creative. I’d suggest randomly start cutting green card into a pattern that vaguely resembles grass to cover the maximum amount of hat possible. To make this even more tricky, ensure the only pair of scissors you can find has one handle. Yes, just the one so you need both hands to cut. When this winds you up to the point of despair, move on to painstakingly slow cutting with nail scissors. After 15 minutes, and when your hand starts to cramp up, give up on the plan to cover the whole circumference of the hat with “grass” and stick to the front.
- Make sure there is no glue around. Having something sticky would make the task easier, which is a no-go. Find ever-so-toddler-friendly safety pins and use two to attach the grass to the hat.
- Realise the grass looks absolutely terrible (and that your toddler is too young to have made it himself, so the nursery staff will know it’s your effort), so hunt out some sticky flowers to jazz it up. We had some left over from a craft set I bought for making Christmas cards (which never got sent) and hurrah, they had sticky backs! Enlist help from toddler for authenticity with haphazard flowers and “eggs” stuck randomly to the “grass”.
- Turn back for one minute to look for more decorations and discover toddler has removed all sticky flowers and eggs from the hat and has transferred them to the tablecloth and/or face. Wrestle them back and give over a piece of card for them to decorate … which may or may not end up looking more impressive than your hat.
- Well-timed nappy change at crucial hat-making stage. Toddler will ensure it requires Sudocrem, which hasn’t been needed (or seen) for a good six months. Sprint around house looking for Sudocrem, and if possible get tangled in a Darth Vader helium balloon on your way back (yes, this actually happened).
- Back to crafting. Pipe cleaners make
awfulawesome flowers. Twist two together and attach with a green one for the stem. Remember there is no glue to stick them to the hat, so shove them down the back of the “grass”. I went with two for an air of minimalism (not because there were only two green pipe cleaners).
- Step back and admire your
heap of rubbishwonderful creation. If it needs something extra (of course it does, more is definitely more in this situation), twist some extra pipe cleaners around your finger to make twirls and randomly stick them to the hat. Et voila! Your lovely child has an even lovelier hat to show off at nursery.
And here it is … I’m hoping the silly face detracts from the even sillier hat…